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(4 fights | pick a fight) [08 Aug 2001|03:56am] [ mood | apathetic ] It's late. Once again, I cannot sleep. Kids. Sometimes Jerry has these days. Days where...well...To be honest...The guests...Drive me over. And I want to kill myself. Now now, don't get worked up. I wouldn't do it. (I have far too profitable a thing goin' for me at the moment!) But always sleeping with the guests...making fun of the fat women..having my sign break on national TV...what kind of a life is that? Even watching my best-selling Too Hot for TV video isn't helping...That girl I brought home last night even wore one of Steve's old security shirts...It didn't cheer me up. I must be losing it entirely... But! On a lighter note! Expect in that fabulous Klanfrontation series of mine! What cheers people up more than Klan Members and Black Panthers brutalizing each other on stage. I love it. Don't you? For my final thought...Love your fellow man. They might not always be your fellow man...I mean that literally and figuratively, folks, look at the show I work on...

(8 fights | pick a fight) [31 Jul 2001|11:38am] [ mood | blank ] "lets just pretend this show is taking place on earth" todays topic: Tales of Forbidden Love.... a man sleeps with a woman, her sister, and her daughter.(who is 18) the question I ask myself is why dear god why.... I finally understand what I must do... I must create a private army of storm troopers... and use it to slaughter my guests on live TV.... don't think it's a good idea?? here's another example- a big fat woman who says "I'm beautiful" and runs around naked....and says she's cheating on her man... the mans simple answer "WHAT THE @#$% YOU DOIN!" her response "I know I'm beautiful..and I got somebody you desires my body" why?....but it gets better... IT'S A WOMAN!!! of course...what else would it be... *sigh* everyday...everyday of my life....

(3 fights | pick a fight) [21 Jul 2001|04:14pm] [ mood | annoyed ] Last night, while eating popcorn and watching TV with that someone special, something that truly disturbed me appeared on E!. There appeared to be an expose on my life! Now now, people, let's give a man some privacy! And the worst part was, there was some media psychiatrist that was saying my show eggs on potentially dangerous people. Hell, Jenny did that once, and she doesn't let them pin that on her. And neither will I. And I keep wanting to tell them. My show is about morals and...well, to be honest, pointing out the freaks that make up part of our society. But I would never intentionally egg someone on, as she instigated I would! Friends, you believe me, don't you?

(pick a fight) [18 Jul 2001|12:16pm] [ mood | bitchy ] It's only noon, and it's already shaping up to be "one of those days." The makeup guy yesterday seems to have misplaced my watch, so I had no clue what time it was until about ten minutes ago, when my personal assistant asked me if I was ready for my 12:30 meeting with the network executives. Of course I'm not! I'm barely out of my PJs and my damn watch is missing...So I cancelled it and moved it to tommorow. I can't be seen without my watch. Anyway, today's show has to do with failed marraiges...for the three billionth time. How many marraiges in America end over something like "I'm sleeping with the dog?" Far too often for my taste. Of course, without these sort of "interesting" marraiges, I'd have no show, so it's all right with me, I suppose. Well, that's all for today. I think I'll go take a nap. I need to calm down.

(3 fights | pick a fight) [17 Jul 2001|03:09am] Well. I'm Jerry Springer. It's nice to be here today, not surrounded by total freaks. But I'm not about judgement. I'm about love. I don't really have time right now, because I have to prepare for tommorow's show. This nice girl, Sarah, wants to marry Ben. But Ben...wants to marry his sister. Stay tuned.

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